lemonlimetree.org

I started manager training on Friday. I decided I should probably break the cycle and not jump ship because of slightly hard times. I’m never going to get anywhere if I keep giving up. GNC is perfect for where I’m trying to go in life and I’m going to try to stick it out.  Once I get full time, GNC will mostly pay for nutrition school, and that would totally make up for the crap I’m dealing with now. The only way I’m going full time, though, is to become a manager. I know it will be a slow process, but I’m willing to do it. Sitting at a desk answering phones is such an easy way out. I doubt it would ever make me happy. I’m just going to keep busting my ass the way I have been and use GNC to my advantage.

I’m home alone. It feels so fucking nice. I haven’t been feeling like going anywhere. It will at least save people from my complaining about my belly. Also, I don’t really feel welcome where everyone else is. Rachel called to check on me. That was nice of her. It’s not her fault I don’t feel welcome. Doesn’t change the truth, though. Eh, it happens.

I find out tomorrow about that job I supposedly got with GP. The woman seems to be blowing me off every time I call, telling me that it should be Friday, Monday, or Tuesday, depending on the day I call. It doesn’t seem like a company of that size would do that. I suppose I’ll find out. I’ve gotten a lot of calls since I went to this interview and was told I have the job. Some of the interviews I’ve turned down, some I’ve made for after Monday, which she said would be the latest I would know.

Tuesday, I have an interview at a downtown company for a Document Scanning Specialist position. I’ve weaseled all the information I can out of them through email; they don’t have a website. If what I’m thinking is correct, the name is pretty self explanatory and that’s what I’ll be doing. I imagine that could get old pretty quickly. It really all comes down to the job at GP paying more. I’ve never been the type to choose money over happiness, but I’d rather be miserable and be able to afford school than be happy with a dead-end job.

I’ve been trying to get rid of the block in my head. I haven’t created anything digitally in a while, save for the Nikki Stardust thing I made to post on her MySpace comments. I’ve got a few new pages in my sketchbook, but nothing overly creative. I’ve been starting things and then getting up and walking away. I leave it open to that page so I have to see it every time I walk by. I’m always afraid it’s going to go away forever, but I find that I’m usually in need of trying something new when I have creativity block.

I want a recliner! i found a method of meditating that won’t kill my knees. That seems to be my trouble with meditation. Seated fucks with my knees so bad that I think about it too much. I was gonna get a recliner anyway for reading, and now I have another reason. I still would love to participate in group meditation. Oh to live somewhere it exists. Like say Every Tuesday at 7:30PM. Yeah, like there.

Just for fun, a photo of my art desk (freshly painted YAY!) with the open page and a million gazillion art supplies. Oh and a stack of journals and paper samples.