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I feel so lonely lately, even though for the most part, I’ve been surrounded by family.  I know why. It’s something that sucks but I have no control over. He’s mad at me now because I said something about it (I told him I didn’t want to talk about it, but he insisted), but I think he knows I’m right.

I had the worst day at GNC yet on Friday. I can’t believe I even made it through it. Crying on the phone to your boss (and that’s just one of the three times I burst into tears that day) is really embarrassing. Having your boss be the only person you can tell about your real problems is pretty pathetic.  Having a boss that listens and encourages you to talk to her and actually makes you feel better is neat. Having something to blame such a rough patch on? Priceless.

I learned a lesson the hard way. I’m just not built for it.

I had chicken schwarma today. I had a good excuse! I made Jesse tried it because she had no idea.  Of course she loved it!

    Seth has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow to find out if he needs to see a therapist. I never really considered it, because I thought depression never showed until adolescence, but he’s got almost every sign of depression. He’s not running away or trying to kill himself, but he IS only five.

I told my aunt about it today, she told me that she wished she has gotten Josh into therapy when he was a child instead of calling it a phase and waiting for it to pass, which is what I’ve been doing. Josh is now diagnosed bi-polar and can’t deal with humans civilly. She can’t make him go to doctors because he’s an adult now. I’ll definitely take that as advice on the positive to what I’m doing.

My grandmother looked at me like I was crazy at first. She does that a lot. She said she doesn’t notice it at all, but Seth almost made her cry a couple of days ago telling her he doesn’t like her and then ignoring her.  That’s just not my baby.

I talked to the woman at GP today. After blowing me off for about 2 weeks, she finally told me that they’re not going to hire anyone. This is after she said I had the job. After I asked her if it depended on someone else, or if I had it and she said I had it. Yeah. Maybe I don’t want to work for you anyway, lady. I went to my interview at Venue Docket yesterday, and I’ll find out tomorrow if I have it. It’s something I’m actually pretty excited about.The interview made me so nervous, I could hardly answer their questions, though. I hope that doesn’t affect their decision.

This picture makes me feel a little better.