lemonlimetree.org

I really need to take a break from the crap I’m doing right now. It’s kind of a break in itself. It may need to be over. Real life takes up too much of my time and energy to have the whole second life.

Aside from that, I went to Teddy’s last night and had a lot of fun. Fun! Here! On a Sunday! (partially what the first half of the post is about) Lasted straight through ’til the knocking on the door this morning. I also now have another job option. I need to get my liquor/servers license renewed, though. I’m still going for the state, though.

Within 5 minutes of each other, I swear:

Customer - Do you have a 48 hour cleanse?

Me - is that the brand name?

C -  no

M - We have this 2 day cleanse…

c- (cutting me off) No! No! That’s way too long.

—

Customer2 - Do you have potassium? My doctor says I need to take 40mg.

Me - We have a 99 mg.

C2 - That’s not going to be enough. I need 40mg. (continues to say other things indicating that she has no idea 40 is less than 99)
M - ?

… and I really like her. We seem to have a lot in common and I want to hang out with her. But she talks about him. He whom I’ve spent the last year unsuccessfully trying to forget about. The boy I happily deleted from my phone only to spend an hour rummaging through my desk for his phone number a month later. The boy I actually can’t go a whole day without thinking about multiple times; even in my sleep; even when I’m with someone else. The only thing holding me back from what seems like a really decent friendship is him. Thanks for somehow having the power to infiltrate my life from 2486 miles away without actually being a part of it.

mm sangria.

I feel dead. Outside I feel alive, but it’s the inside that counts.

I destroy everything.

I can’t stop myself.

I want to destroy something right now.

I can’t stop myself.

I want you to miss me.

I just wanted you to love me with some kind of enthusiasm.

I didn’t think it was too much to ask.

It was.

I’m not sure if I can handle that.

I’ll never not love you.

I feel like I’m going in every direction now.

I don’t see a future anymore.

I really hope that changes because you can’t give me what I need.

I can’t sacrifice what I really need for you anymore.

I wish I could because fuck, I miss you.