lemonlimetree.org

I finished my school of retail selling course today. It took me all of two hours spread out over a week. If that. They give you 12 weeks from signing up to finish it. Are there people that suck at retail more than I do? Impossible, right?

I’m thinking about looking for a part time bartending job. There’s a little Mediterranean restaurant I like that’s hiring. Not sure if they’re looking for a bartender, but it’d be neat. I’m not sure I need to be working in a place that serves my favorite food in town, though. It could be disastrous. There’s always the place I used to work, but the area scares me a lot and gas prices are a little too high to be driving that far for work. I can’t believe I’m even thinking about having 2 jobs. That’s SO not me. I’d like to consider myself an active (or not so active) member of the work less party. I just don’t know if I can even survive on what I’m making now. Especially if I don’t stay in this cheap, crappy house. I’m probably going to need to get a roommate. I am super-grateful that I AM near most of my family so that I don’t have to put Seth in daycare so far. I really am just going to have to make sure I don’t work TOO much. I don’t want to get sucked into that. My mom will work 3 or 4 jobs at a time and be fucking MISERABLE. Don’t want that.

I drew in my sketchbook for the first time in a LONG time. Maybe I’ll get my creativity back. I think maybe I’ve just had so much crap on my mind and no real way to get rid of it. I am a better artist when i’m laid back. Stress doesn’t make me better the way it does some people. I am SO jealous of that. Stress clutters my mind and fucks up my zen. I drew a genie. She has bad hands and a horrible nose. She needs plastic surgery. I could just wish for her to be prettier!

I haven’t posted in a while, have I? I actually have had a lot to say, too. I just have way too much going on, mostly in my head, to even think about sitting in front of the computer anymore. I’d usually rather lie in bed until I fall asleep to make thoughts pass quicker. It sounds sad, but this will pass. Everything always does. I know I’ve criticized the phrase because there are some things that definitely don’t apply, but I’m maybe going to adopt the “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” approach. Again, I’m being vague. I need to seriously consider trying meditation again.

I got a super-sunburn. It’s not so much super as SUPER-OUCH! The really sad part is how I did it on purpose. I didn’t expect it to lastvery long, though. My no-ad glitter junk hasn’t failed me until now. It used to make me burn for a total of 24 hours, then fade it right to a pretty golden tan. I’m going to get skin cancer so bad! On my belly! Showers, work, and sleeping on my belly have been made miserable thanks to one bad idea. Oh yeah, notice how my belly button hole is white. White! Insult to injury in it’s purest form.

I’m supposed to be on here starting my “School of Retail Selling” class. I got on, Vanni was online, so I decided to show him my sunburn. Then I started reading Lavish. Then i decided to post something here. Eventually I will get to it. I need to. Apparently, I’m a Hippo when it comes to retail selling. I want to be a lion or at the very least, an otter!

I ate Chinese yesterday (stupid) and my fortune cookie was awesome. I know it will be an important bit of advice sometime, so I’m keeping it in my wallet, right next to my identity.

Also, to someone who will never read this, I actually have to get my life straight too, you douche. Everyone does. You’re not special. Look, I kind of feel better. Kind of.

And to someone else, Why are you making yourself so inaccessible for this conversation that WILL happen one day? One day soon, too. Do you see it coming, or are you actually avoiding it on accident? Nope. this one didn’t make me feel a bit better.

I’ve decided to find Lucy a home where she can be happier and more appreciated. We’re cat people around here and while we love her, she’s a lot of stress to us which leads to a lot of stress on her and it goes on and on and…. anyway. My boss knows someone who may want her and I made a post on Craigslist. I’m really going to miss her. Really really. after this, I think I will avoid that dog urge until I own a house with a fenced yard and all that good for dogs stuff. Until then… cats.

I’m lonely. Even when I’m with people lately, I’m lonely.

I saw an old friend night before last at probably the last place I’d expect to see an old friend. When I say old friend, I’m talking about 10 years ago. Yes. Childhood friend. It’s neat. He’s still really the same and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing yet. I plan to hang out with him and find out!

Someone almost talked me into something last week. I am so strong. And vague. Strong and vague.

Lastly, I don’t have time for art anymore. I do a bunch of time-wasting bullshit. Woe.