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So, what happened? Let’s see.

 I had my interview today. I assume it went well. He took my background check paper with him. He didn’t throw it at me and lecture me on being socially inept. What he did do was the famous “So, tell me about yourself.” So there it is. The one thing I’m absolutely terrified of. What to say? I always take this question way too seriously. This is where I start cross-examining every little thing I’ve ever done in my life. Every fault. Everything but strengths because it takes a very good day or a very supportive friend for me to see those. Where I sort’ve start questioning why anyone would want to hire me for anything. Where my mind is telling me to say, giggling, “Hi, I’m Tabi. You don’t see it now, but you’re going to love me. I swear.” My mind is an asshole. What is there to say but (blank stare)? So that was my answer.

• “What are your stengths?” I’m really good at making things pretty.
• “How are you at selling P3?” Honestly, I suck at it. (He liked that. People tend to find my honesty amusing.)
• “Anything else?” I’m going to be in school for  nutrition ( I left out the “I think” that would have exposed my indecisiveness and ruined things for me) soon.

End of the grilling. I found the one thing that stopped him from glaring at me with that “You are so not cut out for this.” look. Because, hey, I am so cut out for this. Just not the way he is. Not so much selling things to people, but helping people find what they need. helping people feel better/look better/run faster/stop being a slave to the pharmaceutical industry. That’s what I’m here for. They’re going to have to help me out a little with selling junk. Unfortunately, that means role play.

 And of course, on the way home, I think of all the wonderful things about myself that I could have mentioned. Of course.

I really wish I was doing something that looked more like personal improvement to me. All of this is preparation. So I can start school. So I can even start the process of starting school.  So I can afford to live. So I can move somewhere my cats can go. Do you know how terrifying the thought of getting rid of my baby is? You have no idea. I already feel like a horrible person because I don’t see him all week. I can’t imagine never seeing him again. It’s seriously the near equivalent of leaving Seth somewhere every week and only seeing him the weekends.  Does that make me a crazy cat lady? Maybe.

Thanks for letting me stalk you. I feel like a kid being rationed halloween candy. ; )

   So today I start full time at the Millerville store. I’m about to have so much less free time, but it’s what I wanted so I’m cool with it. Besides, the things I do with my free time have started to affect me  in bad ways anyway. I need a productive hobby. I have one. It’s constant education. I want a more active one. Tennis is in order. I lost my lessons because freedom is important to me. At least freedom from certain individuals.  It’s ok. I pretty much know how to play now it’s just practice that I need because I suck. We were playing and everything was peachy and Robbi said “You ready to really start playing?”… “Yeah.”… Pain is what happened next. For days. He’s good.

 Krista called yesterday and told me the AC is out at the Millerville store. It was 84 degrees at 11am. I’m really hoping I get there and it’s cold inside. The Hammond Aire store hasn’t had AC for a month. Please. NO!

Her to get fired. Now. It would be awesome if I could be the one to fire her. Since that’s not likely, just someone, please. Fire her.

I hate stupid drama. I have enough in my life. I don’t need it at work.

   Today was my first day at my new store. I worked an eleven hour shift. It would have been a ten hour shift but i way overestimated how early i should leave and got there an hour early. To nothing. No work. I had to go sign a paper at the bank. End. I couldn’t do new plan-o-grams because the new ones are for new products that haven’t arrived at the store yet. So I just kind of sat there. I did a few chapers in the Sports and Fitness Nutrition book (which is actually pretty useful once you get past the “how muscles move” junk).

    One thing, though, is that the customers there are nicer. There was maybe one old lady that tried to get cranky, but didn’t because I was sweet to her. People in Zachary don’t give two shits how polite you are. Their life sucks and they are going to make you FEEL it. They’re rude and obnoxious. <3 Millerville customers so far.

    I’m just hoping they don’t take the position from me before I get it. I want it. Bad. Bad bad. I need it, actually. I can’t afford to work part time at minimum wage. Srsly.

    Semi-related because it involves customers, there are two things that make it OK to talk to yourself : Schizophrenia and Bluetooth.

   Completely unrelated but needing to be said even though the person won’t read it, I fucking told you we could only be friends. You don’t need to know why, and I’m not changing my mind. It’s not my fault you can’t handle that. And stop acting like a I never said that.  I was there. It was said. Shame because we could’ve been good friends.