lemonlimetree.org

I haven’t posted in a while, have I? I actually have had a lot to say, too. I just have way too much going on, mostly in my head, to even think about sitting in front of the computer anymore. I’d usually rather lie in bed until I fall asleep to make thoughts pass quicker. It sounds sad, but this will pass. Everything always does. I know I’ve criticized the phrase because there are some things that definitely don’t apply, but I’m maybe going to adopt the “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” approach. Again, I’m being vague. I need to seriously consider trying meditation again.

I got a super-sunburn. It’s not so much super as SUPER-OUCH! The really sad part is how I did it on purpose. I didn’t expect it to lastvery long, though. My no-ad glitter junk hasn’t failed me until now. It used to make me burn for a total of 24 hours, then fade it right to a pretty golden tan. I’m going to get skin cancer so bad! On my belly! Showers, work, and sleeping on my belly have been made miserable thanks to one bad idea. Oh yeah, notice how my belly button hole is white. White! Insult to injury in it’s purest form.

I’m supposed to be on here starting my “School of Retail Selling” class. I got on, Vanni was online, so I decided to show him my sunburn. Then I started reading Lavish. Then i decided to post something here. Eventually I will get to it. I need to. Apparently, I’m a Hippo when it comes to retail selling. I want to be a lion or at the very least, an otter!

I ate Chinese yesterday (stupid) and my fortune cookie was awesome. I know it will be an important bit of advice sometime, so I’m keeping it in my wallet, right next to my identity.

Also, to someone who will never read this, I actually have to get my life straight too, you douche. Everyone does. You’re not special. Look, I kind of feel better. Kind of.

And to someone else, Why are you making yourself so inaccessible for this conversation that WILL happen one day? One day soon, too. Do you see it coming, or are you actually avoiding it on accident? Nope. this one didn’t make me feel a bit better.

I decided to variate from my usual Queen Helene masque last night. Here’s the recipe I used:

Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque (enough to consider it a base)

+ 1 Viamin E capsule (pierce the capsule and add to the masque)

+ 1 Vitamin A capsule (same)

+1 Evening Primrose Oil Capsule (ditto)

+ a little bit of olive oil

+ 1/2 tsp of honey (I didn’t actually measure, I guessed)

Left it on for about 10 minutes and then washed it off with warm water and splashed with cool water. My skin felt SO good. So good, I thought I’d share. Also, you may think this will make your skin oily, but it will not. Wash it off with mild soap to be sure to get the oils off.
Info about the ingredients:

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I have no idea what was going on. My apostrophe key would open up “Quick Find”. You know, that bar at the bottom that’s usually awesome? Not so awesome when I’m just trying to type “don’t”. Firefox has actually been doing a lot of crazy junk lately. I’ll be typing a sentence, and it will put the last half in front of the first half. It’s strange. I just assume it’s because I have more people on my computer now and they’re just clicking on junk. When I have a laptop, no one is touching it. For real.

I’m trying to study some of the vitamins and minerals and everything at GNC while I’m off. I don’t think I’ve ever been put in a situation where I felt so absolutely dumb to everything. People come in the door and I ask “Can I help you” and the entire time, I know I probably can’t. I’m getting better. I can help you with losing weight and with a cold. I, however, know nothing about the working out muscle building stuff. I’m learning. I wish there was always someone in there with me who knows when I don’t. I feel so bad when I actually can’t help someone.

Something slightly related to GNC: I started taking St. John’s Wort again, except I’m taking 2 capsules 2-3 times a day like I’m supposed to. I thought it would take longer but it’s been about a week and a half and I’m feeling better than any pharmaceutical antidepressant has ever made me feel. I feel like it’s helping with social anxiety. Neither Lexapro nor Prozac helped with that. They really only made me feel worse because I thought they SHOULD be helping and they weren’t. So St. John’s Wort is a win.

I’M GETTING A PUPPY!! I haven’t found her yet, but we’re going to get a Bassett Hound puppy. I was going to wait until I found a young Bassett from a shelter, but we have decided to get a puppy instead. I know, I know. The absolute right thing to do is rescue an adult. I’ve done this twice and it has not worked for me yet. I ,for once, want to have a baby that I can train and not have to squash out old habits. Which is hard. Really hard. My situation (2 cats, multiple people to interact with, and a 5 year old) doen’t allow for a lot of the issues that shelter dogs come with. I’d LOVE if I could rescue an adult, but I can’t. Especially with a hound. Anyway. I’M GETTING A PUPPY!! I feel like I’m about to have a baby. I can’t wait to rub her ears and her giant feet. I can’t wait to kiss her head. Oh and clean her poop. Can’t forget that.

Image Explanation: I’ve been researching Noni so I can know what to tell people when they come in. I haven’t found a whole lot, yet. What I have found is that Noni smells so bad it is referred to as “Cheese Fruit”, “Starvation Fruit”, and even “Vomit Fruit”. That is so freaking gross. I have to wonder now if the stuff we sell smells like that. I’ll have to ask Sharon when I see her. —- p.s. why is it SO difficult to add caption in Wordpress?

New art on my DA. They’re all photography. 

    Seth has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow to find out if he needs to see a therapist. I never really considered it, because I thought depression never showed until adolescence, but he’s got almost every sign of depression. He’s not running away or trying to kill himself, but he IS only five.

I told my aunt about it today, she told me that she wished she has gotten Josh into therapy when he was a child instead of calling it a phase and waiting for it to pass, which is what I’ve been doing. Josh is now diagnosed bi-polar and can’t deal with humans civilly. She can’t make him go to doctors because he’s an adult now. I’ll definitely take that as advice on the positive to what I’m doing.

My grandmother looked at me like I was crazy at first. She does that a lot. She said she doesn’t notice it at all, but Seth almost made her cry a couple of days ago telling her he doesn’t like her and then ignoring her.  That’s just not my baby.

I talked to the woman at GP today. After blowing me off for about 2 weeks, she finally told me that they’re not going to hire anyone. This is after she said I had the job. After I asked her if it depended on someone else, or if I had it and she said I had it. Yeah. Maybe I don’t want to work for you anyway, lady. I went to my interview at Venue Docket yesterday, and I’ll find out tomorrow if I have it. It’s something I’m actually pretty excited about.The interview made me so nervous, I could hardly answer their questions, though. I hope that doesn’t affect their decision.

This picture makes me feel a little better.

   Warning: This post is all over the place, mirroring my brain exactly.

I’m trying to avoid things that will hurt me. It’s tough. I already had a Dr. Pepper and 3 cups of tea. I’m so bad. So, because of my terrible ways, I’m now enjoying (yeah right) a cup of Alka Seltzer. It seems getting myself addicted to coffee has it’s downfalls. The pain got worse, and now it’s more tolerable, so I assume it’s getting better. I hope so. I’d like to be able to have a cocktail every now and then.

Jon Jon called me tonight. I’ve been stalking him for days, so it was nice to actually get a call. I hear more will follow.Yay! I can’t wait.

I found this awesome list of ideas over at Wish Jar. It’s super inspirational. You can even download it as a PDF. I’m going to make a map of my hand. If I can ever stop drawing pictures of my coffee cups. If I can’t drink out of them, I may as well enjoy them in other ways. I also wrote in my actual paper journal AND in Seth’s journal. I usually only write in my journal when I’m miserable, so that’s a rare and good thing for me. I drew 3 pictures, too. There’s a lot of other awesomeness going on at Keri’s blog, too. check her out?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the soul lately. If anyone has any good reading material on the subject, let me know. I’ve read “Spook” by Mary Roach. It’s good and I recommend it. It’s that type of books/websites I’m looking for.

So I’m fairly certain it’s an ulcer. I read up on it and learned all the things that could have caused it and are making it worse. There’s a LOT. I wish I had known beforehand, because this shit hurts so bad. So just for those who don’t know, here are the things I do daily that could have caused the ulcer:

• Taking Naproxen(Aleve) and Ibuprofen(Motrin) nightly to help with back pain in the morning.
• Drinking coffee (lots!) and other caffeinated beverages throughout the day.
• Occasional smoking and drinking.

The pain was so bad today, I was grumpy as hell at my grammas house. All these children yapping away and Gary being a child right along with them. Yap yap yap hurting my poor head and belly and back. I can handle a lot of pain, but I will be a grumpy bitch. You will want to leave me alone. You may cry.

We made a video of our kitten chasing a laser light. He gets really dizzy and stumbles away. Hey, we laughed. Ch-ch-ch-check it out:

Last night was another miserable, painful night. I woke up around 3 to this terrible pain in my chest / upper abdomen area. I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I got up and looked up indigestion on WebMD. It’s the first thing I thought of because of a friend saying “you’ll KNOW when you have indigestion, it hurts like hell”. So that seemed to be it, the area was right. It felt more like I needed a doctor than Pepto, but I took some and some Ibuprofen and waited for the paint o subside. It eventually did. For about 2 hours. Then I was up again, and eventually so was Gary and I had to get Seth up. What a miserable fucking morning I’ve had.

WebMD is NOW telling me I have a peptic ulcer! Jesus. It also explains that as the source of my random back pain, too.

Holy hell, apartments in Paris are GORGEOUS!

I’m maybe going to Insomkneeacks tonight for poetry night.  Not a huge fan of poetry, but I AM a huge fan of performance.